My 15-year-old daughter came to me last week asking if I believed in love at first sight and what does “forever” mean. I guess she’s at the age for those types of questions. I don’t know what your truth is, but I can tell you my truth. Love in its purest form will always be true. The bible tells us that love is patient and kind, love never gives up, it never loses faith and it endures through all circumstances. However, in terms of intimate relationships, what is love and how does it show up for you? Is there really love at first sight, or is it lust at first sight? The idea of love, at first sight, could be warm and fuzzy and wildly romantic; you lock eyes with him or her across a crowded room, the attraction is instant, sparks fly and bam, you’ve found your special one and the rest is history. Or is it? I love science because I believe some things are worth measuring. A 2017 research says that yes, love, at first sight, is possible, just not in the way we romanticize it. The study says that love, at first sight, isn’t really love because the qualities that are known to reflect love, such as intimacy, passion, and commitment are not there on the first sighting. Rather it is a pull of attraction that makes a person open to the possibility of a relationship. Ah, but what about forever then?

I’ve been gone for a little while and people have been asking me when they’ll get to read the next article. Truth be told, I think (or so I told myself) I had writer’s block. That block seemed to have happened when I decided to change the focus of my writing. I originally started writing these articles for the financial success of others. No matter how small that success; if I was able to help one person then they would, in turn, help one person and you see the ripple effect this would have. It is quite humbling when someone tells me that they’d read one of my articles and it was of great help to them. I’ve also had a couple of ladies called to discuss some of the articles. I really loved that I was able to help, and that people were interested in the help I offered. Then, for some unknown reason, I decided I wanted to write for my own enjoyment. A funny thing happened after I made that decision, I could not find anything of interest to write about, no topic seemed to bring me any pleasure.

Traditional and cultural norms have held us captive for centuries as we do things without understanding why or even appreciating their significance. Let’s take Santa Claus for instance. Do you know why we tell kids that Santa exists or that it is Santa that brings their gifts at Christmas? I believe in the concept of Santa, as a matter of fact, I love the concept of Santa. I am the only person in my house who believes in Santa or Christmas for that matter. There is so much we can learn from the Santa concept; first and foremost, the big ole bearded guy is all about planning. He has to plan a year in advance so that he is able to deliver gifts to kids all over the world. That takes a lot of prior preparation, to get it just right. I can bet you he has started planning for his next trip around the world. Christmas is over and according to the Trinis “fete over, back to work.” But is it just business as usual? We are at the start of a brand-new year, so what about planning ahead so that you can get the very best out of this year? Confucius said that a man who does not plan ahead will find trouble at his door. We can avoid most of that potential trouble with a little bit of forward-looking.

A lot of us seemingly move through life always wondering or worrying about what others think about what we do with our lives. Our societies in the Caribbean are small and we seem to be forever consumed with what other people do with their lives. Sometimes I think that we have nothing to do and lots of time to do it. But, wouldn’t that time be put to better use if we concentrated on expanding and making our lives much better. I know people who have lived their entire lives wondering what others think of them, so they stay in unfulfilling and unhealthy relationships. Why are we putting ourselves through such emotional turmoil? Is it to keep up with the Joneses, is it to keep our place among our friends and in society? Or is it simply an act, and we secretly hope that no one finds out? I have a friend who said to me that she’s not even aware that others are looking at her, she’s just about doing what matters to her. And I rather like that concept, because we sometimes tend to think that our lives only truly matter based on what others think, say or feel about us. We also have the notion that we only have self- worth, if we have money. It’s a very peculiar and dangerous thing when we equate our self-worth to our bank accounts. When it comes to your life, the only thing that should matter is what you think of you, not in relation to others, but in relation to what you want your life to be.